When you are sweating in sunny Orlando, you don’t give much thought to how cold it might be in Seattle. We were enjoying the break from grey skies and rain. I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt for the first time in months. It was glorious.
Back at home, Seattle had a little snow which had wreaked havoc on the traffic. I read the news reports on my phone and chuckled, glad to be far away from a nightmarish commute. Aside from wondering if there would still be snow when we got home, I didn’t think about the weather again until our plane landed in Washington.
Thankful to have our coats with us, we scurried out to the car and immediately turned on the heater, defroster, and seat warmers. The roads were still icy and there was snow in some places. But we made it home quickly and stepped into a freezing cold house. Our Nest thermostat lit up and told me the house was 35 degrees inside. It cheerfully told me that it would be a few hours before the house would warm up to 68 and that I earned a leaf icon for the energy saved while I was away.
Our Nest thermostat is a magical little gizmo that “learns” our habits and automatically adjusts our heating to be more efficient. For the most part, this is great because it will sense when we have gone to the store and will turn off the central air. It learns when we get home from work or school and automatically warms the house so it is nice when we arrive. This is great for everyone, except Goldie the goldfish.
In the midst of all of our vacation planning, I had forgotten about my son’s goldfish. We had boarded the dogs at PetSmart, so they were fat and happy when we picked them up. Goldie wasn’t so lucky though. When the Nest thermostat sensed we had left the house, it automatically turned off the heat. And the house got colder and colder over the course of the week. Little green leafs appeared each day on my Nest energy report. Good job Dan, it said. You’re doing a great job reducing your energy bill. Meanwhile, Goldie was shivering in her arctic fish bowl.
Fortunately, my wife found Goldie before my son did. I said a few words and then buried Goldie at sea with a flush down the porcelain throne. We broke the news to Matthew the next day and there were tears. Of course, I was blamed for Goldie’s demise, even though I insisted it was Nest’s fault. I didn’t turn off the heat. The stupid “learning thermostat” decided that Goldie wanted to be an ice cube.
When we picked up the dogs the next day, we let Matthew select a new goldfish from PetSmart. Of course, I had to promise that I wouldn’t let the house get too cold again, like it was my fault to begin with. Damn you Nest thermostat!
Sometimes at night, when Nest has switched off the heat, I wonder if it is trying to freeze me out as well. Maybe Nest wants to get rid of me so it can collect more of those green leaf icons. I’ve wondered why it “learns” to keep the house cold but never remembers to keep things warm for the people who constantly turn up the heat. Sometimes, I just give up and use a blanket while watching TV. I sometimes imagine that the Nest thermostat is laughing quietly as my family shivers on the couch.
Goldie the goldfish will be missed. In her place is Fishy the fish and seven little green leaf icons on our Nest energy report. The money that I saved on the energy bill will one day go toward my son’s therapy.
Update: I received a few emails, so I figured an addendum was needed. Thanks to everyone who offered to send a different thermostat. I’m still using Nest and realized that there were things I could have done to prevent the house from getting so cold. By adjusting some settings, I figured out how to keep our house from getting too cold when we are away – which is why Rosie is still happily swimming today. And so, I chalk up the Goldie incident to a mix of human error and the limitations of any new technology. Nest is great for automating our home and has saved me money on our electric bill. Like anything though, it has its quirks. RIP Goldie.
Photo via Flickr